Hunger


Hunger. The word gives me a rush of memories because it is a feeling of discomfort. And ask me not how often that does happen – the misery. The messes of adulthood never get easier or better. Tomorrow is never better than what today already is. There is only more, and most of us learn that the hard way. ‘Living through it’ than ‘waiting for it’ is the supreme mantra of life.

I don’t think hunger is the feeling of skipping a meal. I don’t think hunger is having only one meal in an entire day either. A large part of the population skips one meal as a planned activity, and another has only one because that is all they can afford.

I don’t think hunger is on your special day, eating one late meal alone with a burst of tears. I don’t think hunger is the feeling that won’t let you work. I don’t think hunger is starving as a consequence of bad decisions. I don’t think hunger is the pressure that won’t let you eat. I don’t think hunger is that extreme craving to pick up from the garbage can and eat. I don’t think hunger is the feeling of nothing-else-matters. I don’t think hunger is tears that you cannot talk about. I don’t think hunger is that which does not allow you to sleep because there is nothing in kitchen and nothing you had. I don’t think hunger is knowing you don’t have a kitchen. I don’t think hunger can be talked about. I don’t think hunger is a game and has a name.

You ask me why and how I justify this? Because I have lived it all, and as I have survived through them all, I have this feeling that hunger must definitely be more than this.  

All in a Day


I usually don’t log my day details for public but today could be an exception. Especially when I have a satisfying day, I keep it to myself because only then it ends being that. But again, today seems like an exception. Maybe I am in the wave of writing and words are taking me away!

Here is a day. A little more than 24. (a lot more?)

Not unusual but my day started by struggling to open eyes and pull myself outside the bed at 8.20 am with a four-ish hour sleep. We need to check-in at work from the work-location latest by 10.00 am. I need a pooja time of 25 minutes at least and 8.20 is right time to hurry up with everything and rush to work. I checked-in at 9.48 am. We need to maintain a time of at least 8 hours at work and I did clock 8 hours 16 minutes. And, no. I don’t plan to be so specific about the rest of the day.

So how did those eight hours go? Apart from 1 hour lunch break, 20 minutes discussion with a student, few WhatsApp catch-up conversations and quick talks with few colleagues, my rest of the time went in reading research papers and documenting a report. I managed to write 2000+ words and for any given day that is a significant achievement. Research documents take a lot of effort and time. On a not so good day, I manage to write 100 words in three hours and end up sending that to trash. This is exactly why and from where the satisfaction comes from.

Reaching home usually has my daughter running to me to ask what I got her. Today son had announcements of home works. While I unpacked my bag and got changed, asked him to finish the easy ones – there was a coloring to be done (the grapes are green, so says my son). While I prepared my coffee and heated the morning left-overs from breakfast asked him to complete a few others where I had to dictate a few sentences. Quick snacks and then took him to hair-cut. While he was getting his hair trimmed I went to book stall to get pictures of wild animals. We had to stick a picture of a fox as an assignment – the fox and the sour grapes story.  Back home and all assignments done.

I finished my 45 minutes workout session and had a quick bath. I then rushed to get some minimal groceries and a few medical supplies. Then went to temple for I don’t miss on Sankashti’s. I like the Bajans there. It’s usually 8 to 10 men who are 50+ singing local traditional songs with instruments. I spent 30 minutes and always make me go calm and happy.

Isn’t that all part of adulthood?

Back home, had to put son to sleep with a story. I do a short one as usually he sleeps quick. The fresh stacked vegetables were calling me to make a good salad as a side dish for dinner and of course I did. My daughter is a night owl. It was 12.50 am when I put her to sleep. She has her own play-time-talk before she goes to bed.

Well, I then decided to type this. I am doing it as a ten minutes job. No editing. No re-reads and edits. Just a log, as it goes, so it shows. Honestly, my day is not done yet. As soon as I post this, I will be preparing a cup of hot milk for myself and have it with plum cakes while I watch the next episode of ‘This is Us’, from season 5. I plan to wind up by 1.30 am but it might go a little beyond.

Well, I am not done yet. I plan to spend at least till 4.00 am working on my research document and then sleep. Why? Because, one, I have a research presentation with external tomorrow and I want to be my best. Two, it’s Saturday and I can cover up all my sleep later. The Godzilla movie in theatre has been waiting for me from long!

Just another day, Like every other.
A little more satisfying than every other.

More May’s in June?


While I closed my Project May on a happy note, indeed a very happy note, it’s already day five of June. I took a break on the first day of June just to wrap my head around and look back on how the month had passed. I mean it when I say that there have been days in May where I have over-lived. Sleep did not matter, nor did many other things, and I looked forward to each day and night. My Project-May diary dances out with pictures and memories in every resemblance to happily-ever-after stories.

My workplace has planned an internship for me of 11 weeks which started on 2 June. I have been given a set of objectives to be completed with weekly deadlines. I plan to complete my 11 weeks of work in 4 weeks and then challenge the team with more work. Well, here are my resolutions for the month June. I have one theme for this month, and it will be ‘Reading’. I want to read through June as much as an average person reads in a year.

JUNE RESOLUTIONS

6.1 Complete reading at least seven novels (target is more than 5000 pages)

6.2 Read more than 200 research papers on problem-based learning

6.3 Complete the 11-week internship tasks rolled out

6.4 Run a four-day course on Model Thinking

6.5 Write a mini-thesis of 100 pages

6.6 Complete 3 MOOC courses

6.7 Host a session on conducting a literature survey

6.8 Write the first drafts of at least 10 research papers

I am sure the July version of me will be a lot messed up! A happy mess-up.

May Project


I have not posted any resolutions for the month of May for the very specific reason that the entire month is a celebration. It’s been a few years since I have been doing project-may and most of it is personal and secret within a closed book. For me, it’s about living the entire month and making the most of it.

The Diary that holds everything from May-Project

Travels, food, movies, meeting people, unexpected and living it out, May is so much more than that. May is about knowing that there is more than what we think there is. May is about making new moves. May is about every feel-good. May is about being self. May is new. May is a celebration. May is May.

I guess I have already said enough about the secret project!

Closing the April of 2022


Best April Ever! I was close to my goals, and April had some crazy things following up. I like being crazy and traveled to Bangalore for a 2-hour dance fitness session. Why? – because I wanted to dance my heart out. I am left out with a lot of points from the plan but completely satisfied with the way the month passed by. Here is the post I made for April.

For the Love of Reading and Writing

4.1 Read and complete 4 novels as a part of Goodreads challenge – did not complete any

4.2 Work on novel for 30 hours – CampNaNoWriMo – could do only 4 hours

4.3 A to Z Challenge on Blog – completed

4.4 A to Z Challenge on Instagram (prakash.hegade) – compelted

4.5 Write 26 general blog posts (Its PH) – completed

4.6 Write 5 technical blog posts (PH Bytes) – none

4.7 Write 26 short poems on Instagram (prakash.hegade) – completed

4.8. Complete and publish the ebook – Bit Codes – NIL

4.9 Continue – Symphony of Words – continued

Research

4.10 Design and submit the draft of three work proposals – completed

4.11 Complete two MOOC courses on Qualitative and Quantitative research methods – NIL

4.12 Read 25 research papers – completed

4.13 Write 50 pages of the thesis – NIL

4.14 Work on Knit Algorithm components for at least 10 hours – completed

4.15 Submit two research paper – submitted

Personals

4.16 Exercise for alteast 24 days – completed

4.17 Watch 3 movies – watched more than 3

4.18 Complete ‘This is Us’ Season 3 – completed

4.19 Live the real/raw at ph_logs – to the best I could

4.20 Suprise Yourself – did

4.21 Celebrate more, Live more – did

Zephyr


It’s April of 2022 and Day 26 of the A to Z challenge. This year, I am doing the theme – “Wordy Wonders.” I am selecting words that have deeper and graceful meanings, from across the globe and an eight-line poem along.

Day 26 – Zephyr

Origin: Old English

Meaning: a gentle breeze.

Poem

Stood over the gates,
Held the chains,
Climbed the rocks,
Slid the roughs,
And then, 
In love,
Zephyr,
Disappeared me away.

Every journey, tough or not, must accompany love.

Word Pronunciation: ZEH-fuh

Yötön yö


It’s April of 2022 and Day 25 of the A to Z challenge. This year, I am doing the theme – “Wordy Wonders.” I am selecting words that have deeper and graceful meanings, from across the globe and an eight-line poem along.

Day 25 – Yoton-yo

Origin:  Finnish

Meaning: the midnight sun – a night-less night

Poem

Why is that,
The more we are,
The more I long,
Days and nights,
All seem glued,
To us and within,
I of-course love,
The yoton-yo.

The night-less nights and lightless days, does not matter when there is a right together.

Word Pronunciation: Yoton-yo

Xyresic


It’s April of 2022 and Day 24 of the A to Z challenge. This year, I am doing the theme – “Wordy Wonders.” I am selecting words that have deeper and graceful meanings, from across the globe and an eight-line poem along

Day 24 – Xyresic

Origin: English

Meaning: sharp as a razor.

Poem

A clumsy knot,
Determined,
Entered a contest,
Of untie-the-knot.
The clumsy knot,
Melted to ashes
Xyresic, was,
The god of poems.

We never know what is more powerful than the other until we see it in a real battle.  A poem can melt the hard-hearted.

Word Pronunciation: Zy-ress-ik

Wabi-Sabi


It’s April of 2022 and Day 23 of the A to Z challenge. This year, I am doing the theme – “Wordy Wonders.” I am selecting words that have deeper and graceful meanings, from across the globe and an eight-line poem along

Day 23 – Wabi-Sabi

Origin: Japanese

Meaning: The beauty within the imperfections of life and art – an imperfect beauty. The thought of finding beauty in every aspect of imperfection in nature.

Poem

There is always,
A stranger in you,
Looking for perfection,
And another stranger in you.
The only perfect,
Ever to be,
Is possibly,
The wabi-sabi.

We all know the ending. But we still need to live through the parts of the story. That is why imperfections make it worthy of living.

Word Pronunciation: wah-bee-sah-bee

Vacilando


It’s April of 2022 and Day 22 of the A to Z challenge. This year, I am doing the theme – “Wordy Wonders.” I am selecting words that have deeper and graceful meanings, from across the globe and an eight-line poem along

Day 22– Vacilando

Origin: Spanish

Meaning: Appreciating the travel than the destination and knowing that is more important.

Poem

If you truly see,
Destination is a myth.
All that is there,
Is a journey,
On and going,
Into the bliss.
Vacilando,
Is the only real.

We all are set for the travel and there is no meaning in waiting for the destination to arrive. Living the moments we get, is all we got.

Word Pronunciation: vah-SEE-lan-doh